Surgery

Ahn-Bao had his palate repair surgery early in the morning of Friday, June 20. Everything went as planned according to his surgeon, Dr. Clay. One nurse held him while another two nurses wheeled her in a wheelchair to his room in the pediatric ICU where we met him.

The first 24 hours were pretty tough to see him in pain and know that in some ways we agreed to do this to him. As soon as he was eating and drinking, lots of applejuice, yogurt and applesauce, he was allowed to move out of the ICU and to the regular pediatric area of the Children's hospital at Saint Marys Hospital. By Saturday afternoon, he was playing and walking around and even maneuvering the casts on both arms with great flexibility.

Meanwhile, Aunt Cindy and cousin Abby had turned our home into "Camp Stollberg" for Yasmin, Elias and Kia. They all came for a visit to the hospital on Saturday evening (right after going to "Kung Fu Panda" at the theater, with popcorn, unheard of!) Sunday morning, Ahn-Bao was ready to go home and everyone, especially Mom and Dad were glad to have all sleeping in their own beds.

We ran into a nurse working in the pediatric ICU who we had met back in 2004 when we attended the pre-adoption counseling class at our adoption agency. In the intervening 4 years, they had adopted twice from Korea and it was great fun hearing how their family (and ours) had changed over the years.

Casts for 3 weeks and soft diet for 6 weeks. Antibiotics for a week and pain meds for a few days and hope for the best.

Appropriate Level of Parental Concern and Attentiveness?

So, on the day before Ahn-Bao's palate surgery, Bob noticed that at the "Cafe Presto" restaurant across the street from Saint Marys Hospital, they had a breakfast special for $3.99. Bob had a theory that while Ahn-Bao was in surgery, when we were just waiting, that we could just go across the street and have breakfast.

When he posed this plan to Sherry, she offered that he was welcome to go have breakfast, but that it seemed inappropriate not to be waiting very close by in case his parents were needed. Bob's retort was something to the effect of, "what, are the surgeon or the anesthesiologist going to come running out of the operating room demanding that his parents come in and sew something up?" After 22+ years of marriage, Sherry's response was to merely ignore his protests.

When Bob later posed his suggestion to test its appropriateness on Aunt Cindy, and Abby and even Yasmin, they of course all sided with Sherry's appropriate level of parental attentiveness and suggested that the parents should stay nearby in case they were needed.

After Sherry had attended Ahn-Bao back to the operating room and had stood by while he closed his eyes, the nurse, Mary in the Pre-op area suggested, without prompting (although, Bob was alone with her for a short amount of time) that we should take this opportunity while the surgery was going on, to get some breakfast. Her rational theory was that when he came out of surgery, he would need us at full speed and well-nourished as we may not have much opportunity to eat again for awhile.

This of course prompted quite a reaction from Bob.

I had the $3.99 special with bacon and toast and Bob had ham and an english muffin. We were back to the waiting area in plenty of time to wait for another 2 hours.

It's Official in Minnesota

Judge Robert Birnbaum, Minnesota Judicial District 3, Olmsted County Court ruled officially today that Ahn-Bao Li Hubert is officially and forever a Hubert -- for better or worse, he's stuck with this motley crew!

Our good friend Lisa Swenson, an experienced attorney who knows her way around the courtroom (and who just happens to be a finalist for a judgeship in Winona County!) served as our lawyer to file a petition and lead us through the hearing this morning. We had to testify in front of the judge that we understood that we were accepting all of the rights and responsibilities as Ahn-Bao's forever family! Actually, Sherry testified to all of the necessary affirmations necessary, and then Bob took the stand to testify that everything his wife said was true and accurate -- that's a first.

Yasmin was trying to convince the rest of the kids on the way to the courthouse that Ahn-Bao was their step-brother until the Judge ruled on the adoption, when he would miraculously became their real brother! Bob asked the kids if they understood that Mom and Dad had to raise their right hand and swear to tell the truth and whether they had ever seen that before. Yasmin and Elias both understood this and had of course seen it before on a Three Stooges movie.

Big Sisters and Brothers

In the first few days home from China, Yasmin and Elias seemed to be competing for whom Ahn-Bao liked most! They have now settled into a routine of being able to see that he loves both of them for different things. Yasmin will pick him up and mother him. Elias will wrestle with him and delights when he can get Ahn-Bao giggling by allowing Ahn-Bao to knock him down.

Kia has been very clear and direct from the start about her feelings. Within a couple of days of the reality of this little brother sinking in, she told me, "I don't want to be 3" and "I don't want to be the big sister." Then it turned to, "It's too hard being a big sister" and "I don't know all the things I have to do and not do to be a big sister." Most recently, she's becoming his supervisor because of course, now she tells me, "Now I know all the things to do and not to do to be a big sister." We're even pleased to see that the toilet skills that were just sprouting are starting to return as it might just be o.k. to be a big sister!

2, 3, 6 and 8

Ahn-Bao turned TWO on 2-17-08. We were so lucky to have Uncle Scott, Aunt Lisa and Bailey, Caden and Connor in cold-MN for the weekend to celebrate his birthday with us. Zejna, Mirza and Senad and our good friend Zeinab also joined us to eat cake and open presents -- a birthday party just like I remember when I was a kid (although we missed not being able to have Grandma's and Grandpa's and lots more Uncle's and Aunts and cousins with us to celebrate).

Yasmin and Elias helped with the candle blowing, which along with the "Happy Birthday" singing routine, had to be very wierd for Ahn-Bao, although he didn't seem at all traumatized by it all. We all enjoyed Ahn-Bao's cake - for him - as he's not a big cake eater. He'll learn!

A Family of 6!

It's hard to believe that we really are a family of 6!


We take up all but one seat in the van and the van is the only vehicle that we can all go in at once. The current arrangement on car seats has Ahn-Bao and Kia riding in the middle row of seats, with a passage-way between them to allow Yasmin and Elias to pass through to boosters in the back row. It works for now, but took a couple of configurations before we landed on this one that seems to give most of the four sufficient personal space (most of the time).

And when it's time to leave the house, the packup of diapers, wipes, tissues, bib, etc. had to be reinstituted in earnest. Takes a little longer than it used to from the time Bob calls, "MUDROOM" until the garage door swings open to release the hounds!


Discovered that we only have four stools in the kitchen for meals, which leaves no seat for Mom or Dad. That is, unless we actually use the dining room table for dining (not likely to happen anytime soon)! Not a huge sacrifice given the fact that when Ahn-Bao is eating a meal, you're not sitting anyway, and for a long time. Bob timed him tonight and it was 90 minutes in the high chair.


The lockers in the mudroom are now filled and there are now even more coats, boots, shoes, hats, mittens for tracking and keeping in separate spaces.


Beds have been shuffled a number of times too (and kids distributed optionally among them). For the moment, Kia is teaching her little brother how to go to sleep by sharing a room with him upstairs (it's a shorter trip when one of the little ones is crying in the night) and Yasmin and Elias are sharing the bedroom downstairs. Except for tonight when the oldest three are having a "sleepover" in the living room. And last weekend when the Nebraska cousins, Bailey and Caden and Connor were staying with us and then everybody just moved from bed to bed!

Feeling At Home

This boy is too much fun! We are having such a great time watching him blossom before our eyes! We're starting to wonder if he might have been a little more of the class clown at the orphanage because he can be such a commedian at times. Other times, he is just jockeying for position amongst the four kids (hard to believe we've been so blessed to get to have all four of these angels). He's got the sleeping skill down pat now. Takes a good nap in the afternoon everyday and settles down well at night -- as long as Mom or Dad are visible in the room until he has a chance to settle down (bonus book-reading time for Mom).

His communication skills are improving everyday. He understands all the important things we say and is even starting to say a few simple words or communicate in lots of very effective ways what it is he wants or thinks he needs.

He is still a fickle eater -- one day chicken nuggets are the greatest food ever, and the next he'll almost literally, physically turn up his nose and shake his hand to tell us "don't even put it near me or expect it to be on the floor via gravity." Yasmin started keeping a list of foods he likes and doesn't like, but the lists are so jumbled because items keep moving back and forth between the lists.

Ahn-Bao has had his check-up with Dr. Y and things are good. He's in the 6th percentile for height/weight, but we intend to fatten and strengthen him up. He's wrestling and running and learning to jump off our infamous coffee table (purchased 20 years ago after testing in the store it's ability to withstand Bob standing on it to reach the ceiling fan - important for putting stuffed animals on it for launching, and for jumping off of the table, of course).

What a blessing we have been given, all around!